me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving: say your prayers


If anybody ever makes you feel bad about fan fiction remind them that Wicked is basically a Wizard of Oz college AU and it’s a best selling novel and one of the most popular musicals on Broadway

"I’m a naturally pretty shy person, which I’m cool with now. I used to think it was this affliction I had to overcome.”


do not pity the dead, harry, pity the living, and above all those who think feminism means hating men.


we all know that, in book three, remus wakes up in the compartment and sees harry

but what if he didn’t see harry

what if he woke up and for a split second all he sees is messy black hair and glasses and thinks james




*snorts pollen* i love nature

You know pollen is plant sperm right

even better


haha remember how the most unrealistic thing about iron man 2 was not the part where tony made a particle accelerator and then recreated an element in his basement but was in fact the part where natasha takes her hair down to fight. literally no one with long hair would ever do that


do you ever look at a boy’s hands and just nod to yourself


i’d be the worst PR-manager ever
my client would be like “there are rumours going around that i’m a gay satanist” and i’d be like “hahaha awesome”

Twelve Steps to Creating a Rape Culture

Step 1: Tell girls they exist solely for male pleasure.
Step 2: Tell boys that the more sex they have and girls they exploit, the more masculine they are.
Step 3: Tell girls they can't actually have sex before marriage or they are unpure, unloveable, and equatable to a chewed-up wad of gum.
Step 4: Tell boys that they cannot control or make choices about their own sexual urges.
Step 5: Never mention or give accurate information about consent.
Step 6: Never mention or give accurate information about contraception.
Step 7: Call sexually active girls "sluts".
Step 8: Call sexually active boys "players".
Step 9: Blame girls for getting pregnant or infected with an STI.
Step 10: Blame girls when they get raped.
Step 11: Remind boys that they aren't fully responsible for their actions.
Step 12: Deny rape culture exists.



I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.

I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.

merlin the dragonlord
requested by anonymous