janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

oinkaloink:

'no homo' god says as he puts the male g-spot up their anus

I will have  w a r

autbucky:

vivianvivisection:

biruskis:

If the Winter Soldier was responsible for the Kennedy assassination and Magneto tried to STOP the Kennedy assassination then that must mean somehow Magneto lost a fight to a guy wITH AN ENTirE ARm MADE OF METAL

Marvel writers sweat intensely

WiFi: connected
Me: then fucking act like it
Me: I wanna do something
Anxiety:
Anxiety:
Anxiety:
Anxiety:
Anxiety:
Anxiety: No you dont
Me: But
Anxiety: No
"In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood [sexual] victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.
Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology… Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for… This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men."


— ― Lundy Bancroft (via wanweird-of-an-argonaut)

gllorious:

mom can you give me $1000000 please it’s for school

alicexi:

amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

manicpixiedreamalien:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

I once pointed this out to some boys and they said I didn’t understand how vaginas worked.

afloweroutofstone:

I, for one, can’t wait for the destruction of traditional family values

"Is your older brother hot"

— Ancient proverb (via emerant)

meg-h4n:

sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments 

thelow-cal-calzone-zone:

I’m pretty sure this is my favorite quote from this show ever

leonardbonesy:

Whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.

HW