Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like
ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning
i know this is dumb but i think that australia exists like?? the ocean is largely unexplored there could very well be a fallen empire and we havent found it yet
I MEANT ATLANTIS YOU ASSHOLES
Each of the Houses represents one of the four classical elements: fire, earth, air and water.
Oh, I’m excited to bond a little with April. She’s like the little sister I never had. Because the little sister I do have is normal and not terrifying.
Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told Madonna, one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to go and f*** herself, the local media are reporting exclusively.
“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.
In further discussions with journalists from the media, the kid stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”
“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.
The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.
“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.
THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
"Which is annoying."
fanfiction should be taken a lot more seriously as literature. True, some of it isn’t really excellent writing and some is just smut but let me tell you i have read some fics that are beautifully well done and turned my life upside down and legitimately gave me feelings for days and if that’s not real literature then what is
If you’re ever worried that you fucked up real bad, just remember that there are over 2,500 reported cases of vacuum cleaner-induced genital trauma in the United States each year.
#can we just stop and appreciate Harry’s face in this scene? #I mean, he’s literally waiting for someone to say something about Hermione’s blood status #she’s the only Muggleborn in the slug club full of purebloods and well known people #and Harry’s there just like “say something I dare you” #and if you look at her face, you can see the actual hesitation and somewhat fear of what will happen next after telling of her parents occupation #Harry truly is acting like Hermione’s big brother, which I absolutely love #i just adore this scene
I love that Neville looks genuinely interested in what hermione’s talking about.
Harry: I wish a motherfucka would talk shit right now
Say something, make my day
Nevile looks like he’s just made a private mental note in flaming red ink: WHATEVER THE HELL A DENTIST IS, DON’T MESS WITH ONE.
#this is a harry potter blog #seriously any profession that turns out a kid like hermione #must be utterly terrifying #neville finds out it involves rearranging people’s teeth with wires and drills #and drugs and scrapy knives #and is like AHA #I KNEW IT#I KNEW THEY WERE TERRIFYING #hermione granger: horrifying storm of a girl since day one #(so do the muggles have to be hunted down for that or does the government assign you targets) he asks her one day #she squints at him for a long time #’they volunteer’ she says eventually #neville shivers #muggles are HARDCORE
Including tags because oh my fucking god.
Chris Pratt interrupts the interview to french braid intern’s hair x
what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind
my alternate self is getting some serious dick